Twas the Note Before Christmas
by Ilandere Okami
Summary: Short scenes from the Death Note characters' Christmases. Beware, there are corny jokes and odd people abound! Ch 1: LxLight, Ch 2: MattxMello, Ch 3: Beyond Birthday - three-shot
1. L and Light's Christmas Night

**Author's Note: Yes, I'm Jewish. Yes, I don't celebrate Christmas. Yes, according to the Death Note timeline, neither did Light and L. So, why am I writing a story like this? Actually, I got several ideas and they were too small to do anything w/, so I decided to put them all together into this: `Twas the Note Before Christmas. And I just came up with that title on the spot; nice pun, huh?**

**BTW, I've been watching yaoi anime, reading fanfics, and looking at fanart nonstop the past few days…This was bound to happen.**

**Inspiration: A really good Mello/Light fanfic ((don't judge me! I love the couple…)) for BB's part; "Sexy Naughty Bitchy" by Tata Young—really good DN vid for this song, "Sexy L, Naughty Light, Bitchy Mello"; the Mutts comic for today, Wed Dec 23, 2009…yes, I am utterly serious**

**Warning: This may scar your minds. ^_- Oh, and I wasn't in a lemon-writing mood, so there's an insane amount of references to sex, but not the actual act, which is why I've put the rating as T. No like, no read.  
Also, this is obviously AU. Most is explained in the ever-confusing LxLight part, but just to de-confuse you readers: L and Light know he's Kira, but Light gave it all up to be with L 'cause he's totally **_**not**_** a complete douche in this universe. The Wammy Boys are still at the House. Oh, and BB did do everything in **_**Another Note**_**…except die.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. If I did own one…Well, I'd be a much better Dictator of the World than Light ever would!**

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`Twas the Note Before Christmas

_**Light and L's Christmas Night**_

Light never looked forward Christmastime. Every year, he had to decorate a tree with his family, dress up in cheesy sweatshirts, and wear a dorky Santa hat while watching corny movies and specials. It was supposed to be a family time, a time to give presents to others. The only thing he looked forward to was the part where he got one good present from his sister, the only person that understood him.

Putting on a fake smile, he always thanked his parents for their "amazing" gifts, giving his own in return. His sister gave him one that his parents would approve of then too. Afterwards, usually that night, when their parents were spending some quality alone time with each other a few bottles of champagne, Sayu would sneak into his room with his special gift.

…**Flashback…**

"_Light, what are these BL novels doing hidden where I thought you kept the porn magazines?" L asked curiously while holding up a small pink and violet novel. He was obviously referring to the encyclopedia covers that hid female porno that Light had used while under camera surveillance._

_Rubbing the back of his head, Light turned to his lover and explained, "Only one volume of those encyclopedia covers held the magazines, in case my parents decided to snoop…or you decided to watch me…The others all hold BL novels that Sayu always got me for Christmas." He laughed nervously and went back to packing his clothes._

_Today was the day he was moving out of his parents' house and into the Investigation building with L. He and his lover were packing all of the rest of his belongings, including the bookshelves._

"_Oh, so your sister knew you were gay…For how long?" L questioned. Honestly, he didn't know his lover had known about his own homosexuality before they met. There were many things he didn't know about him, though…_

"_Ah, for years. Since she read in my diary that I lost my first kiss to a boy in my class after he showed me some boys' love. So…it's been, what, five years?" Light explained without turning around._

_After a pause, L went back to his work, not wanting to continue the conversation._

…**Present…**

Tonight, however, was Light's first Christmas with L, his lover. They had long since been a couple. During their time handcuffed together, during those long months, Light eventually admitted that he was gay and proceeded to tell L that he was in love with him. It was quite an awkward moment, but L soon got used to it, finally giving in and admitting he was attracted to Light. Sooner or later, he fell in love too.

After they caught Higuchi, Light had to make the important decision of staying with his lover or killing him. Pleasure or being a god? Which did he choose?

Higuchi wound up in jail after forfeiting ownership of the Death Note—causing it to fall into Light's possession—and Light wound up confessing to L that he was Kira, but gave it up for him. Shoving everything under a rug, L made the biggest decision of his life and proclaimed Kira gone once and for all. There had been no killings since.

"Merry Christmas," Light murmured against L's chest, waking up in his lover's embrace. L returned the sentiment and told Light he would be getting his present later that night. Light moaned and buried his head in L's chest, gaining a rumbling from L's chuckles.

With a sigh, Light got up and started getting dressed, still sore from that last night's activities. "Well, you're gonna be getting yours tonight, too, Lawli-chan."

"I told you that name is so degrading. And Light-kun's the female in our relationship anyway," L pouted. "…Light bulb," he muttered, knowing how much Light hated the English nickname.

Clothes that were supposed to be placed upon said lighting-fixture's body fell to the floor as he gracefully walked towards the bed once more. "You have to admit, I'm much brighter than any light bulb…" He leaned over L and pushed their lips together

…

Basking in the after-glow of sex, the two detectives were startled awake by their bedroom door slamming open. "Merry Christmas, Onii-chan! Merry Christmas, Ryuzaki-san!" a teenage girl barged in, followed by an apologetic older man, Watari.

Taking in the two men lying naked on their bed, Sayu quickly raised a hand to cover their lower bodies from her _innocent_ eyes, whining, "Do you guys ever make it out of bed?!"

They looked at each other, the turned back and answered bluntly, "No."

She sighed and said she'd give them five minutes to get dressed and come downstairs to open their presents. Knowing that there would be horrifying consequences if they didn't follow the younger girl's orders, they quickly dressed and took the elevator down…making out while waiting to reach their desired floor.

When the doors opened, Sayu was standing outside of them, waiting impatiently with her foot tapping madly. L had pinned Light to the wall, straddling his waist, as they were sitting by then. They each looked up sheepishly at Light's sister and stood, Light smoothing out his clothes, L just walking out of the small space as if nothing had happened.

Light's family was waiting for them when they arrived. Gifts were opened and smiles were exchanged, and soon the Yagamis had to take their leave. Before following her parents, Sayu turned to the happy couple and whispered, "I had Watari leave your real present on your bed…" With that, she winked and left.

After one look at each other, L and Light turned about face and ran as fast as they could, too antsy to wait in the elevator, up the stairs and into their bedroom. Lying perfectly still, perfectly innocent, on their bed. They rushed to it, tearing off the wrapping paper. Inside the box was…

How the hell was Sayu, a fourteen-year-old girl, able to walk into a shop like that and buy this? "Oh, wait, Light-kun, there's a note." L reached in, hand avoiding the actual presents, and pulled out the slip of paper. He read aloud, "_Dear Onii-chan and Ryuzaki-san, I hope you will enjoy your gifts to their…fullest potential. Oh, and I ordered them online using your credit card, Onii-chan. I hope you don't mind! With heaps and loads of love, Sayu._" L looked up at the look of irritation set in Light's face. "Well, that explains how she was able to buy them."

Light just closed the box, not willing to tell L all the actual thoughts running through his head. Let the man think that he's just mad at his sister…

…

That night, Light couldn't wait to give L his present, knowing exactly when he'd give it too. He'd spent good money on it and couldn't wait to see his lover's face.

Walking into their bedroom, Light was greeted with quite a sight: L was sitting on their bed with nothing but a Santa hat on. Wait, make that…two Santa hats…

Light placed his gift on the nightstand and stripped for his Santa. Staring lustily at his show, L asked, "Do you know why Santa is so…jolly?"

"No…" Light breathed, crawling onto the bed and pulling off the second red and white hat, his hands taking its place. "Tell me…"

"Because he knows where all the naughty boys live…" L growled and pushed the other onto his back, climbing on top of him. "And boy, have you been naughty…" His lips fell onto Light's chest, taking one of his nipples into his mouth. Light's mind instantly flickered to Kira and the Death Note, wondering if that's what Santa L had meant by him being naughty, but knowing that thinking that will kill the mood. So he just went with L's little role-play.

After a sharp nip at his neck, Light arched his back, pressing his crotch into L's, moaning loudly. "You're such a ho, ho, ho, Light-kun…" L chuckled at his own little joke, no doubt having practiced them many times before this…most likely finding them on some stupid website.

Nevertheless, it turned on Light even more…

Several rounds later, before either could fall asleep, Light reached for the box on the nightstand, handing it to his sweaty partner. "Merry Christmas," he whispered as L opened the velvet case. Inside was what seemed like two metal versions of L's insignia. When he pulled one out, he realized they were each dangling from a collar of a clear material, the only other visible thing being the clasps.

With a smile that seemed almost a smirk, he wrapped the clear collar around Light's neck, putting it together in the back. Lying in the middle of his neck, as if unsupported by anything, was L's insignia. It was then that he noticed the dark, almost black jewel set into the metal. Looking at the other one still in the box, he saw an amber jewel set into its L.

Light pulled that collar out and put it around L's neck. "Now you are mine and only mine, and vice versa. And…our eyes will always be on each other…" he added, fingers rubbing the amber jewel so similar to his eye color on L's neck.

With a contented sigh, L hugged his lover close, whispering, "I love you."

"I love you, too…"

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**Author's Note: I was so close to having Sayu give Light the complete set of Junjou Romantica in front of his parents, saying something like, "Well, now that you're out of the closet, I don't have to hide my gifts anymore!" *giggles* I thought this was better for the story.**

**Alright, so, this is the first chapter of the story. As you know from the summary, there'll be two more. Sadly, I did the stupid thing and put the one I have ABSOLUTELY no plot for next, and the one that has one line that I wanna use so badly last. Well, I guess it'll be a treat for me.**

**This was originally a one-shot, and was only supposed to have the Santa hat thing and those corny jokes. Aren't you glad I didn't just leave it at that?**

**Reviews me the world to me!**


	2. Matt and Mello's Christmas Morning

**Author's Note: Damn, this chapter's way too short. Well, this one is quite different from the last one. It's more fluffy - something I'm not too used to doing, mind you - and very comedic. I even ruined the ultimate tender moment! KYAHAHAHA!!**

**Just so we're all on the same page: As you know from last chapter, Light gave up being Kira, and the time of L's supposed death has passed ((hello, it's December; he was supposed to die in November)). Therefore, Mello never got the news, and he never ran away. So, now, they can all celebrate Christmas together! SQUEE!!**

**Warning: Mello's mouth. Haha, as always.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, Gameboy, or M&M's. ^-^**

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**Matt and Mello's Christmas Morning**_

Matt was awakened to his bed acting as if it was lost at sea during a violent storm. Oh, wait, that was Mello.

"CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS!" he was yelling over and over again. They might already be fourteen and fifteen, but they still were kids at heart. It came with the package of living in an orphanage of genius children. After all, couldn't they let go of all the stress and studying and work for just one day? A day where they were given presents!

With a groan, Matt sat up and pushed the bouncing Mello off his bed, the blond falling on his butt with a loud grunt. But that didn't deter him; he hopped right back up and grabbed Matt's still outstretched arms, pulling him out of bed. "Come on, we have to get our presents! It's Christmas!" While dragging the half-asleep redhead to the door—though he was still wearing only his boxers—he kept on babbling about presents, what he was gonna get, what Matt was gonna get.

"Oh, and after we have an awesome breakfast, you're getting dressed and I'll take you to church, `kay?" he added as an afterthought. Though that thought caused him to look back to see what Matt was wearing—or not wearing. He stopped and slapped Matt's bare stomach. "What do you think you're doing dressed like that? Put some clothes on so we can open presents!"

Not even bothering to question Mello's sanity, Matt walked over to his dresser and pulled a shirt and sweatpants on, not caring how he looked. And before his insane roommate could stop him, he scurried to his nightstand to grab his goggles, slipping them over his head and onto his eyes.

With a sigh, Matt turned back to Mello and allowed himself to be forcefully pulled into the hallway crowded with other orphans. Luckily, most of the younger—and several of the older—students were afraid of Mello. They immediately moved away when they heard his voice or felt his sharp elbows in their sides.

"PRESENTS!" the blond yelled as he dived for the Christmas tree. Underneath were over a hundred presents, but he knew immediately which was his, Matt's, and, to his dismay, Near's. He picked up the white wrapped present and spotted Near waiting at the edge of the gift sea. "Yo, Twatsicle, head's up!" he yelled and threw the box at the small white-haired boy.

Near caught it and carried it out of the room, to his bedroom most likely.

Mello scoffed and Matt just waited patiently for his own Gameboy covered gift to be chucked at him. Soon, it was, and he waited for Mello to wade out of the present sea to him with his own black wrapped gift before they headed to their room.

Both shook their boxes, trying to figure out what was inside. "Mells, the chance that you got chocolate is higher than your IQ," Matt joked.

"Did you just call me stupid?!" Mello fumed.

"Uh…no. I meant that it was higher than 160 or wherever your IQ is by now…I mean, why wouldn't you get chocolate?" Matt explained, wide-eyed. He never wanted to be on the receiving end of one of Mello's "Near's smarter than me" rampages.

Once safely inside their own bedroom and sitting on Matt's—earlier abused—bed, they proceeded to tear open the wrapping paper hiding their presents from view. "DAMN I WAS WAITING TO GET THIS WHEN IT CAME ON SALE HERE!" Matt yelled as he held the newest gaming system and a few new games for it in his arms. "You gotta love L living in Japan…"

"No matter how much of a pansy his boyfriend is…" Mello muttered, though Matt heard and flicked him.

"Be nice to the guy. They're coming here for New Years. I mean…Light's not _that_ gay…" He paused for a second before the two best friends burst out laughing.

After calming down enough to open his box, Mello slowly pealed back the lid. Indeed, there was chocolate. Foreign, expensive chocolate of numerous flavors…Drool was ready to pour out of his mouth.

"Oh," Matt said, jumping off the bed and running to the closet, where he dug around under the mess. After a minute of searching, he stood up again, victorious. "Here's your gift, Mells. Merry Christmas."

Mello took the small box and opened it carefully. Inside was a heart-shaped bar of chocolate, the words _'M & M 4ever' _carved into it. "Aww," Mello sighed. He quickly wrapped his arms around Matt, who hugged him back.

"Flip it over," he whispered into Mello's ear. On the other side of the heart were two M&M's, one yellow, the other red. With a smile, Mello pulled them out of the chocolate cast and took out some superglue from his desk—yes, it was there for some pranks they pulled on Near…and his underwear. He glued the small candies to the wall between their beds, never to come off again—if Near's underwear was any proof of that.

"Merry Christmas, Matty," Mello said, turning around. "Here's your gift." He pulled Matt close again and kissed his tenderly on the lips.

They melted together onto Mello's bed, the chocolate heart lying forgotten on his nightstand. They stayed in each other's arms for hours, happily cuddling.

Coming back to his senses around the time his stomach growled, Matt looked at the clock and smirked. "Hey, Mells? We missed church."

Best. Christmas. Ever.

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**Author's Note: AWW!!! Told you, Near's underwear messed up the tender moment. See, I needed to explain why a 15-year-old boy who wasn't into arts and crafts or stage crew had superglue in his desk. And I wanted to keep things funny.**

**Oh, and people, sorry about that beginning. It sounds wrong doesn't it? *sigh* *giggles* *is shot* Mello! Bad boy! *tugs leash* Good boy; now go play with Matt. ((All meanings of that sentence meant.))**

**Uh...people go to Mass on Christmas Day, right? That's what it's called, right? Well, just to make sure, I just called it "church" to be safe.**

***giggles* Near's underwear...**

**Oh, dammit, wasn't even 1,000 words long...*sigh* Well, better than nothing! Have a Merry Christmas, guys! BB's chapter coming up next, tomorrow! Oh, and beware of that one. I don't know what it's gonna be yet. LxLight's was funny, romantic, smexy, and funny. This one was mostly funny and a little sweet...((Everyone: D'aww, Matty!)) So, BB's prob gonna be a little...more sinister. The one line I wanna use has to be put in somehow, but it's a little...*shudders* odd. BB _is_ insane after all.**

**Hmm...I think I haveta make a quick bonus chapter for New Years now...Great...Look back into this chapter if you are not understanding what I just said...^_-**


	3. Beyond Birthday's Chirstmas Day

**Author's Note: MERRY CHIRSTMAS TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO CELEBRATE IT! I can tell you right now that Beyond Birthday doesn't.**

**Anyways, welcome to the third and final installment of 'Twas the Note Before Christmas. I hope you've enjoyed reading! There might be a sequal of sorts, for New Years, if anyone remembers something Matt said last chapter...-_- And I might even do this every year from now on! Who knows?**

**To un-confuse you guys: Pretend everything that's ever happened to BB did, except he didn't die by Kira's hands January 21, 2004. ^_- I've only ever written from his POV once, and he was a totally different character, that being AU ((you'll read it soon)) but he's just as insane in that...just in different ways...What I'm saying is that it was an interesting experiment to write from his POV and I'm glad I did. Have fun reading!**

**Warning: A drop of blood - literally - and some violent thoughts, nothing more...*sigh***

**Dislcaimer: I don't own Death Note. I also don't own any strawberry jam; I hate the stuff.**

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Beyond Birthday's Christmas Day_

What would one expect for Christmas at an asylum for the criminally insane? Definitely not a feast and gifts, right? Then one would be correct. Christmas was, however, the one day of the year that this particular prison allowed people to send small gifts to the inmates.

Since this prison was in southern California, prisoners were let outside for some time every day, even Christmas.

One particular man with unruly black hair, deep bags under his eyes, and a peculiar hunch, was not in the same holiday spirit as most of the others were. Bright paper was strewn all over the yard and the red-eyed man contemplated if there was a way to give people bad enough paper cuts with the wrapping paper that they could die. Nah, too much work.

Beyond Birthday sighed and looked around, seeing the joy in the faces of those who didn't even know their fate was soon to face them. Let them be happy while they can, the innocent were more fun to watch die, anyway, unlike those who Kira killed.

Speaking of Kira, some of the newer inmates had told the others—and Beyond _happened_ to overhear—that Kira was captured. Not only that, but L also had picked up himself a second L. How is that possible? Only one person each generation could hold a letter. Twenty-six letters for twenty-six genii. L was the only one from Wammy's House who could hold the letter L.

Did that mean that he had found someone outside of the House? If that was so, then the only person Beyond would've thought could be up to par to be L's lover was either himself, or Kira. Seeing as he was locked in a prison and hadn't seen L since the LABB Murder Cases—where he didn't even see L, anyway—the only option was Kira.

Well, if L had finally found an adequate lover, then he should at least be happy on Christmas. Ha, just another way he surpassed him. Just another way that Beyond could never reach beyond L. He sighed again.

Suddenly, a new guy came over to Beyond with a jar of strawberry jam. He held it out to the strange crouching man. "My girlfriend sent it to me as a joke; I hate jam. The guys over there said you love strawberry jam…so…uh…Merry Christmas." He kept holding the jar out until Beyond realized what was going on and smiled a smile that could singe the bones of a child. He reached out slowly, his spidery fingers grabbing at the jar and pulling back in.

While he greedily opened the top and threw the lid to the side, slipping his hand inside the delicious substance, the man who had given him his wonderful present sat next to him. He said his name and inquired for Beyond's. "BB," he answered quickly before another handful of jam entered his mouth.

The criminal tried to make a bit of small talk, mentioning the weather, what he did to get in there…finally coming to what Beyond had done. Beyond looked up and cocked his head curiously at the man. His eyes, his body language, his expression, they all freaked the other out, but he stayed put, trying to be nice.

Finally, Beyond decided he might as well answer. "Confused a bunch of people, killed a few, lost the war…you get the idea." No, the other actually didn't get the idea. Beyond stuck his fingers back in his mouth, trying to lick off the jam, accidentally biting his finger and causing a small bead of blood to form. He pulled the finger out, peered at it for a minute, and then popped it back inside, sucking the blood away.

Trying to forget what he just saw, and cutting straight to the chase, the reason he had been forced to come over to the insane man, the other finally asked, "How did you get those scars?"

Beyond cocked an eyebrow. So, that was his reason. He should've figured. Nobody had actually asked him before, and he was wondering when they would stop making up those foolish lies and just ask him. Made sense they used a new guy. The more innocent, the more fun. He chuckled to himself, more forced than an actual laugh, and stated with a shrug, "I took a bath in fire."

That being said, and his jar completely cleaned out, Beyond stood and tossed the empty glass jar at the one who had given it to him—not without first thinking what would happen if he chucked it at the guy's head…but several weeks of solitary confinement and almost overdose-like amounts of drugs just didn't seem as entertaining as one would think. He walked away as if nothing happened. And nobody ever questioned him again.

…That is, until a fresh batch of inmates arrived…

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**Author's Note: The one line I kept mentioning in past author's notes that I couldn't wait to write? "I took a bath in fire." How awesome is that?!**

**I hope you've enjoyed reading the fluff and stupidity of my mind. Corny jokes, barely an smex, and Sexyback playing right now on my iPod. How sad...Oh, wait, now it's Master of Puppets. Good song...**

**Hope you had a very merry Chirstmas! Turns out everyone's was here! ((Mine wasn't so much, but that's a whole other story...))**

**See you all sometime later when I have a bazillion more stories to post!! Trust me, that's really soon. Review!**


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